I used to believe fragility meant weakness and being brave meant being fearless. I used to believe if I kept my outer shell from shattering, I wouldn't fall into a thousand pieces. I used to believe others' perception of me was more important than my perception of myself. I used to believe if I had a… Continue reading I Used To Believe.
One of the biggest lessons I've learned is that allowing myself to be vulnerable is one of life's greatest freedoms. In fact, I believe it's the first step to being healed and becoming my best self. I didn't really know how to be vulnerable to others in the areas I felt most fragile because I… Continue reading Bravely Breaking Open.
My birthday is coming up so I've been doing a lot of reflecting on what I've learned and improved in since being 21. I've come to realize three major things: Nothing in life is ordinary Seemingly useless moments--like waiting for my computer to turn on really slowly--are great invitations for spiritual growth (ahem, patience) Self-improvement is often… Continue reading 22.
Last year at this time I was in a very different place. I had just finished my album Serenity. The garbage that surfaced during the process of writing it was still clinging to my bones. Stuck. I was exposed. I was afraid. I was uncertain. I wanted to explore the attic of my heart, which for so long had… Continue reading Hidden Heart.
November is always a nostalgic month for me. Not because the year is coming to an end--well, perhaps that plays a part--but because so many memories surface. Emotional triggers fire like a shotgun. But this year, the nostalgia is not painful or achey. The nostalgia is like a beautiful rose in a garden. While the… Continue reading Tranquility and Roses.
I have a reverent respect for hitting rock bottom. Not because I like pain or suffering, but because of what I've learned from being there: Crashing and shattering into pieces is not meant for us to fall apart. It's meant for us to break into place. There are lots of metaphors to describe transformation. A… Continue reading Pulverized Pieces
Komerobi is a Japanese word I recently came across which describes the sunlight that streams through the branches of a tree. Although I love the image - even more, I love what it symbolizes to me. Light can only shine through the dark. Sometimes life can feel like the spindly, spider-like branches of a tree;… Continue reading Komerobi: Finding Hope In Unexpected Places
One of the best things I ever decided to do was to become human. I spent a long time being a machine--no needs, no emotions, no help. I didn't even know I had needs. Hence, anorexia. I was disconnected and blocked within my own self. I wasn't aware of my emotional life and consequently, bottled… Continue reading Becoming Human.
It was a sunny Spring afternoon. I was in therapy with my counselor. It had been long weeks and months worth of heavy, exhausting, and painful therapy. Insecurities, wounds and fears were rising to the surface and purging through my skin. It was as though a bright light had come over me and shone itself… Continue reading Diamonds.