Hello Dear Reader! I’m glad our paths have crossed. My name is Colleen. I’m a songwriter, soul-searcher, blogger, and hope-spreader. I’m not here to talk about rainbows and butterflies. If you’re looking for that, go on Facebook or Instagram. I don’t shy away from the ugly, the dark, the struggle. Basically all of the uncool stuff. My hope is that the writing you find here will inspire you to discover serenity in your life, as I seek it in my own. As I’m discovering, it’s not a destination, but a journey. Come join. Brew a cup of tea, put your feet up, take a few deep breaths, and explore around!
A little more about me…
I was born in the forest-filled state of Vermont. Three older sisters, two pups, and my parents. I was a spirited child with a touch of fierceness. I danced, I played, I laughed… I did all of the things most children do.
But I faced some demons. Anxiety always plagued me. My struggle with mental health began to show its dark face starting from a very young age. As a kid, many nights were spent lying in bed with horrible stomach aches; if I could not soothe myself to sleep, I’d get up and pace around the kitchen counter, breathing heavily, afraid I would throw up at any moment through the wee hours of the night.
I never went to sleep overs. I walked around with tomato red chapped hands – occasionally bleeding – from excessive hand washing. I’d periodically go days barely eating anything due to my extreme anxiety. These giants accompanied me all through middle school and high school.
When I was seventeen years old I developed anorexia. In two months, I lost thirty pounds. I was weak and emaciated. As skeletal as I was on the outside, it was only a reflection of what was going on inside. I hungered to be known and loved. Anorexia was not something I chose, but something that took over my mind, invaded my body, and damaged my soul. I was 5’8″ and 95 pounds. My body was starving for food, but my mind and spirit were starving for peace and connection. Although life is not linear, I’ve found healing, strength, and hope from writing my story through music.
I want to inspire you by sharing my story. As imperfect as we may feel, who we are is truly what will change the world. Together let’s create a safe place for us to unmask and show up as we are. Will you join me?